keeping the spark alive

Complacent: “satisfied with how things are and not wanting to change them

Four years ago, Cosmo polled 1,400 women to see why their relationships ended. The #1 reason why couples broke up: “We just fell out of love” with almost 40%. But how does someone just fall out of love after years of spending days with one another and building your lives together? Sometimes you drift apart, finding that you’ve grown into two incompatible people that don’t love each other. Maybe you’ve been with the wrong person all along and just realized it. But worst of all, what if you could have loved that person, but you became complacent in your relationship?

After years and even sometimes as quickly as a few months, you can get stuck in a rut – caught in routine. The little acts of love and kindness that littered the “honeymoon phase” of your relationship have vanished, and gone with them, the spark and blissfulness of your relationship. So why would you stay when you could find that excitement in new endeavors? That’s the question far too many people end up asking themselves. When your relationship is dull, everything outside of it looks so fresh and inviting.

It goes without saying that after years in a relationship, things just won’t be exactly like they were when you first started, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t have to have a relationship at all. Maybe you won’t be swept off your feet everyday, and you may not get butterflies in your stomach every minute you spend with your significant other, but those can be replaced by little acts of kindness that show you care and getting butterflies when your partner surprises you or demonstrates the qualities that  you love most about them.

Fighting complacency is the little things. Remembering to hug your partner every time you see them. Bringing home flowers from work. Making them breakfast in bed. Fighting complacency is showing acts of affection and remembering each day why you fell in love with your partner in the first place.

*The cup pictured above was given to me from Ty during a rough spot in our relationship. When I drink all of my coffee in the morning, the bottom of my cup says “I love you”.

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